


That Was Quick

by Shipping_Sushi



Category: Dangan Ronpa
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair, But it's not abusive, Cause non abusive junkomikan is pretty sweet, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Gen, How Do I Tag, Not Canon Compliant, Out of Character, Second chapter has mikan x junko, aka junko you unsubtle bitch, crackfic, everyone is ooc, kinda??, obviously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-24 23:21:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9791630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shipping_Sushi/pseuds/Shipping_Sushi
Summary: It takes about five minutes for Junko to explain to her twin a plan that makes it hard to believe that she's not high.In five minutes Mikan and Mukuro some how save everyone's lives and avoid the entire series.





	1. This Is Lowkey Not Canon

"So you plan on erasing the memories of our class, disguising me as you even though we look nothing alike and there should be no physical way to make a wig like that, brainwashing an entire class to be your minions of depression, and somewhere between all of that you'll massacre our friends while taping it like it's the Hunger Games."

 

Junko just nods. "I know right? Came up with it last night!" Mukuro stared at her blankly. "You're joking right?" "No???" "There is no way you'll ever be able to accomplish whatever the acid told you."

 

Junko grinned, rolling her eyes. "I can. I'm perfect for analyzing and I'll manipulate these fools and-" "Junko I understand you're bored-" "Yeah no duh I'm bored. But hey I learned some cool brainwashing techniques for videos from this one guy-" "Those videos aren't brainwashing anyone, they're compilations of cute clips with pretty colours. If you put pretty colours on clips of people being murdered, you'll be paying therapy bills, not leading an army." "Yeah but you're wrong-" "No you're crazy and please don't embarrass yourself trying to fill people with your depression." "IM NOT DEPRESSED AND YOU SHOULD BE SUPPORTING ME LIKE ALWAYS!" "I'LL SUPPORT YOU WHEN YOU AREN'T HIGH!"

 

Junko stomped off and Mukuro shook her head. That blonde was so gonna get herself killed.

 

While pondering her next step in her 'pretty stupid on paper' plan, Junko accidently bumped into the school's Ultimate Nurse. Mikan was already stuttering out apologies when Junko had an epiphany. Tsumiki Mikan was a frail unpopular girl that everyone hated. She was the perfect slave for Junko's future rule as Queen of Despair! Heck, she was probably one of the only few people on the planet who would be submissive enough to possibly be affected by pretty colours on murder.

 

"Hey Mikan?" "Uh y-yes J-junko?" "Can you follow me? I have a cool video to show you!" Mikan nodded and smiled. "Sure! I think I-i have a good place though." Junko sighed but followed. Might as well let the shy girl use whatever free will she had before turning her into an obedient despair slave.

 

"S-see? This is the d-door. Why d-don't you t-take a step inside." Junko nodded but too late did she realize that is was a closet as Mikan shoved her in and locked the door.

 

Junko's first reaction was rage. She screamed, clawing at the door with her puny high schooler strength. It did not work obviously.

 

"S-sorry but this is f-for your own good." "WHY? HOW DID YOU KNOW BITCH!" "I told her." Junko's eyes widened as her nails sunk into the wooden door. Mukuro honestly thought the door would topple over and Junko would be spitting fire, stabbing her with the sharpest stick she could find at the moment.

 

"BETRAYAL!" "In my defense you're crazy." "S-she's k-kinda right." "MUKURO I WILL GET OUT AND I WILL MAKE YOUR DEATH PAINFUL. EVERYONE YOU LOVE WILL DIE!" "I love you though. Like you're my best friend." "WELL I'LL KILL MYSELF." "T-that d-destroys all hope of your plan." "WELL FUCK. ISN'T THIS DESPAIRINGLY GREAT!?"

 

Mukuro took a step away from the closet and Mikan followed. "Where's the nearest therapist?" "About f-five miles from here." "Great. When she passes out from the drugs, you're driving."


	2. A Month Later

Mikan was clinging onto Junko's arm through the hallway when the 'Queen of Despair' was distracted by some thoughts.

 

"Hey?" "Y-yeah?" "You're a nurse right? So that means you'll grow up to work in hospitals and stuff like that." Mikan nodded. "So I was thinking-" "D-did you take your m-meds?"

 

Junko's lack of a response was sadly a common answer: No.

 

"Ok but my idea. So you'll work with people desperate, and practically almost dying, and-" "T-take your meds." Junko rolled her eyes. "But like I was saying.  What if you pushed them out a window? Imagine the pink splattered in the road, how beautiful it'd be!" "I t-thought we established blood isn't neon pink." "LET ME DREAM!" "T-take your meds p-please."

 

Junko sighed. "I'm fine without them." "You j-just said you f-find the thought of me k-killing people hot." "I see your point but I'm right still." "No, y-you need your m-medication." "I'm not talking about that babe, I'm talking about you murdering people. Hot damn~" "T-that's not really hot-" "It is if you like try dropping them in an arrangement that spells 'I love you' in blood."

 

Mikan blushed, pulling out her phone. She dialed the number right above 911, the only thing that was more important to have available other than the police or lawyers (and after having dated Junko for the last month that was saying a lot).

 

One minute and fifty four seconds later and Mukuro was walking towards them from the other side of the hall.

 

"Junko if your girlfriend calls me again because you won't fucking take your medication I will shoot you." "WELL EXCUSE ME!" "I'm your twin, not your doctor." "Well I mean duh-" "Take your meds or I'll shoot you." "C'mon I'm feeling fine!"

 

Mukuro huffed. "Ok. Junko tell me what you're feeling and thinking about then." "I want to impale you repeatedly yet all at the same time. Like, I want to shove spears in every part of your body and watch you fall to the floor as a demonic teddy bear dances all over your corpse." "M-mukuro's right. Y-you're probably high or drunk."

 

"If this is being high then imagine what I'm like not high!" "Nope." "Y-yeah no." "C'mon. The Ultimate Analyst, Fashionista, and Despair is amazing like this!" "Y-you really should take your m-meds though!" "Quiet babe I make good decisions like this." "Do I have to mention when you wanted to murder people?" "Which time?" "THE FACT THAT THAT'S A QUESTION PROVES MY POINT!"

 

"Not all my decisions are bad like that! I didn't take my medication when I asked out Mikan!" "T-that explains s-so much." Junko groaned. "I wasn't that bad."  " A-ahem. 'I know I tried m-making you my slave and you shoved m-me in a broom closet because of my sister, b-but wanna go out?'"

 

The blonde winked wrapping an arm around the nurse. "Well what girl wouldn't say yes to that pick-up line?" "Literally every single one except Mikan." "H-hey!" Mukuro rolled her eyes. "Sorry but you're dating Junko. You have no standards." "H-hey wait a minute."

 

The arm around her was gone along with the warm presence by her. The blonde psychopath was gone.

 

"OH N-NO!" "MIKAN GRAB THE HUNTING NET! SHE ESCAPED AGAIN!"

 

After twelve minutes of following a trail of carnage (aka people pushed over and dazed from Junko scurrying away) Mikan and Mukuro found her trying to stab a reverse course student with a pencil. The boy just walked away from the harmless screaming bitch, right before Mukuro tackled her to the ground and Mikan took out her girlfriend's medication.

 

"Ok open w-wide! Only one pill." Junko hissed. Mukuro honestly could just punch her in the gut and then Mikan could shove a pill in her mouth, but that probably wouldn't make this process any easier the next time this situation happens.

 

Instead Mikan pet her head lovingly and Junko purred at the soft touch. The nurse was stroking her cheek when she asked again. "Please?" Junko groaned but accepted her fate, parting her lips a bit so Mikan could slide a pill into her mouth.

 

"Those taste despairingly horrible." "Medicine tastes like shit, get used to it." "B-but it's helpful!" Mukuro lifted her sister up and helped her onto her feet.

 

"H-how do your feel now?" "Somewhat guilty. Like I'm realizing that I sounded crazy-" "Which you are." Junko glared. "But I was pretty decent this time-" "If I look out my w-window tomorrow and find the street covered in blood as a message of your l-love, Mukuro will shoot you." Junko rolled her eyes and grabbed Mikan by the hand, pulling her. "C'mon we're late," "It's your f-fault-" "It's never my fault it's always Mukuro's. That's my life motto." "Are y-you sure you swallowed the medicine?" "I'm not thinking of stabbing you, so I'm thinking yes." Junko grinned, placing a kiss on Mikan's cheek.

 

"You h-have to take your meds tomorrow too-" "FUCK."


End file.
